I can’t believe it…everything is so unreal and I don’t know why. I came back to Rostock about 6 weeks ago and it seems like I’ve never been way…but not for me! Just for many people here, they just don’t get it, they just don’t understand, that I changed over the year. They treat me like I was on vacation for two weeks or something and just came back. They want me to continue living my old life. But I can’t…
Sometimes it just seems like I am lost, lost in a world with unfriendly people, people who don’t know what life is about,, who just live to get their money, who think that they have friends and money and that this makes them happy. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s just something that’s going on in my mind.
I know that some people know what I am talking about. These are the people, who mean the most of all to me right now. Without them I couldn’t live here anymore. Wencke, Karo, Katja, Torge, Lisa…yall know what I mean!
It’s not that I don’t like it here anymore, but my year in the United States of America, my year in Arkansas, the natural state, showed me so many things, it changed my way of thinking. I had a family there, a real family…someone who came home and hugged me, who asked me about my day. I just felt like a part of a real family! Sure I have a family here, but can you call a bunch of people who need to live together, a family? People who don’t really talk to each other? The man, who’s supposed to be a dad, but who was never there, can you expect from me to treat him like a dad?
I miss my family in Arkansas so much, but I know that I have to live here for two more years. I have to finish school over here and I really wanna try to do good. Because if I finish school with a good GPA I can go and LIVE MY LIFE!!! And for sure this won’t be here in Rostock and I know it’s sad, but I prolly gonna live my life without the family I was born in…don’t get me wrong, I love my german family, my mom, my sister, my dad, but sometimes you just have to get out of something to live…
But everything’s gonna be alright…NO WOMAN, NO CRY…just think about who I mean with WOMAN!!!
